Always apologise for mistakes, not for feelings. Self esteem and self love are two highly underestimated yet most important qualities one should possess. How can we love and respect someone else if we can’t do it for ourselves. A self loving soul respects his/her decisions, values his/her feelings and is confident about their actions. Does that mean such people should unapologetic about their mistakes because they think they are justified by themselves? No way, there comes the difference between ego and self esteem. A person with self esteem believes she should not lower below the bar she sets for herself.
But simultaneously she also respects the feelings of others and never tries to disturb the private space of others. So if she does something against her conscience or otherwise called a mistake, she is ready to apologise because it only enhances the respect she has in herself. An egoistic soul on the other hand lacks self esteem or self confidence and when someone points their mistakes they are not ready to apologise. This is because an egoistic soul is unaware of their own strengths and weakness. So they are unaware of the mistakes they commit. If they are clueless about their mistakes, how can someone possibly feel sorry.
Do we have to feel sorry for our mistakes?
Now the real question is do you need to be sorry or ashamed for your feelings. Not at all! As long as your feelings are real and it doesn’t hurt someone mentally, emotionally or psychologically, why would you be sorry? It is natural to have feelings.There are some that we try and ignore while there are some others that haunt us all day long.
Now let us talk about romantic feelings that develop inside us. This can be categorised to attraction, infatuation, love and much more. We live in a patriarchal society where involving in a romantic relation is considered as a sin. Proposing love is a crime but fighting with a friend is a part of the game. Watching an action movie where the hero slaps and kills hundreds of people, is usual in a family round but what if a romantic scene pops up, there is a hunt for remote.
Unconsciously our society injects violence into our veins right from the childhood. Why does it happen at the first place. That is highly because, we are not ready to acknowledge the feelings. Someone who can’t respect their feelings would never be able to accept it in others. So there is nothing wrong to have feelings. If it is acceptable in your conscience then accept it and be proud of that.
Many of us are victims of toxic relationships. We have heard people talking behind our back about the same. Right from childhood,we are being taught the importance of love and empathy. But in reality society mocks you when you fall in love. What an irony right? And what if we break free from a toxic relation. Nobody praises you for the courage you took to break free from a relation. So let us just forget about the world. Let us give ourselves some props to have gathered the courage to find love in someone and when it didn’t work out we stood up for ourselves. So rather than being sorry we should be proud about our feelings.
When do feelings change to a mistake?
When we forcefully impose our feelings on someone else and force them to acknowledge our feelings, it turns into a mistake. This can be physical, mental, psychological or emotional impact we make on someone. When we deliberately impose our feelings into somebody’s life and vigorously enter into their personal space without their permission then our feelings are no longer the strength that keep us moving but rather a weakness that not only pulls us down but also affects the positivity of people around us.
So does that mean you have to keep your feelings inside you? Not really. There is no harm sharing your feelings with others. There comes the phrase give respect and take respect. If you are a person of huge self esteem then you also respect the self esteem of others. So even if the other person is not willing to accept your feelings, you respect their space and give them the freedom to choose. That is when you feel proud about your feelings,courageous about your confrontations and improves your self esteem.